Drabbles
by Gary Oak The Pidgeon
Summary: A bunch of drabbles concerning all the characters. Includes ships, but mostly Thilbo, Bilbofur, and Bilbo/Smaug, and maybe Durincest. Rated T just to be safe. For The Hobbit kink meme.
1. Chapter 1

**Prompt: ** Bombur tries to set Bofur up with Bilbo so that Bombur can live in the Shire with them and eat seven meals a day.

* * *

Bilbo was busily discussing life in the Shire to curious dwarves. Some were intrigued, while others, like Thorin Oakenshield, could care less.

_Seven meals a day,_ thought Bombur in awe. _ I used to eat that many every day before we went on this damn adventure. Is Thorin so arrogant as to think that we can kill a dragon?_

But his brother, Bofur, had wanted to go on the adventure for the pure thrill of it, and he couldn't just abandon his only surviving immediate kin.

He had been fiercely judged for his eating. What was so wrong with eating so much? Dwarves did many things far worse than eating multiple meals and the other dwarves wouldn't even bat an eye. Bombur was certain that he would enjoy the Shire. He just needed an excuse to go back there with Bilbo, who he was certain wouldn't stay in Erebor once it was, if ever, reclaimed.

From the corner of his eye he saw his brother staring longingly at the hobbit, the dwarf who was paying the most attention to what he had to say. Bombur knew just how to get himself into Erebor. A smirk danced across his lips.

Yes, he just had to play his cards right and he'd be eating seven meals a day in no time at all.

* * *

"Brother," Bombur said when he and Bofur were alone.

"Yes?" asked Bofur, adjusting his hat, which had started to fall off of his head.

"I have seen how you look at the hobbit."

Bofur flinched. "You have?"

Bombur smiled. "Do not worry, I'm glad for you! It's been a while since you've taken an interest in anyone."

Bofur let out a sigh of relief.

"I'd like to help your feelings be known."

Bofur's face turned as red as Bilbo's coat. "Oh no, no, no, no, you certainly don't have to. I'm sure he's busy enough already and I'm also sure he has an interest in Thorin and-"

Bombur touched his brother's shoulder to stop his endless babbling. "No, you need to admit your feelings. If worse comes to worse than just do something as simple as giving him flowers. I heard that hobbits like that sort of thing."

Bofur sighed. "I might as well."

_Good,_ Bombur thought. _I'm not going to lose my chance to eat seven meals a day to you being too scared to give Bilbo flowers._

"If you want," Bombur said, "I will speak to him first, give him a few subtle hints."

His brother's face was lightening to a pinkish shade. "Yes, that would be good. Do you really think he'd want to be with you?"

"Any hobbit with a brain in their skull would want you," Bombur said.

Bofur smiled. "You're right." He patted his brother on the back. "I'm always glad to have you around, brother."

* * *

"Bilbo," Bofur said a day later, right after dinner. The two were alone, cleaning up the stew pot.

"Yes?" the hobbit asked.

"My brother has been meaning to speak to you," Bombur said.

"He has?" Bilbo asked.

"Yes, and he was hoping you could see him after this." Bombur said.

"I'd be happy to," Bilbo said.

Images of the wedding in the Shire filled Bombur's mind, and he was sure that the hobbits would be preparing only the finest food imaginable. Already he was licking his lips at the idea, images of food dancing around in his brain.

When Bofur came up to him later, Bombur's heart sank. He'd been so confident earlier, but now his dreams of seven meals a day were crushed by the broken hearted look of his brother.

"What happened?" Bombur asked. "Did he reject you?"

Bofur shook his head. "Right before he came up to speak with me he walked up to Thorin, and in front of everyone Thorin planted a kiss on the lips. He returned it, wrapping his arm around Thorin. It's not going to happen."

Bombur wrapped an arm around his brother's shoulders, then let him cry into him. Bombur began to cry too, knowing he'd never get the food he so desperately wanted.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I had way more fun writing about evil!Bombur than I should have.

I promise that not all Bilbofur drabbles will end like this because I honestly do love the ship.

If you want to suggest prompts for me to do, feel free to.


	2. Chapter 2

**Prompt: ** AU in which Bilbo is really a burglar. Contains Thilbo. I'm thinking the title should be "Raiders of the Lost Arkenstone".

* * *

Stealing was an art to Bilbo Baggins. He was a master thief, taking as he pleased and walking away without a doubt in his mind. Some would question how someone like him slept at night, but he'd just laugh and say that he didn't eat any pie before he slept so he wouldn't stay up. He was a wonderer who could make his home anywhere in the world, if only for a brief period of time. He'd set his eyes on Erebor when he'd heard of it's great wealth.

Nothing compared to seeing it in person, however.

Gold lined the walls and jewels were in the furniture. Erebor screamed of riches and it became Bilbo Baggins new playground. If he weren't a traveler than he would've loved staying and truly enjoying what Erebor had to offer.

There was one person in Erebor who Bilbo could say that he loved. Thorin Oakenshield, slayer of the dragon Smaug, and the wealthiest dwarf of them all. When the two were alone he would often run his rough hands through Bilbo's curls and tell him stories of his adventure. The stories interested Bilbo. He'd often have to stifle his laughter when he heard of the burglar they'd had, which had been a young human.

"Useless little rat," Thorin called him. "He nearly got us killed multiple times, and when an elf shot him I certainly wasn't sad. It was the only time in my life that I ever thought well of an elf."

Bilbo wondered if his journey would have been any better had Bilbo been Thorin's burglar.

They'd met at the dwarven market, Bilbo trading the items he had collected over his journey. Thorin had been interested in the line of wares Bilbo had, and in buying some stones that Bilbo had taken from elves (which Bilbo had lied and said came from humans), had striked up a conversation with Bilbo. It had lasted hours, and though many other dwarves had wanted to purchase Bilbo's goods, none bothered to interrupt Thorin's conversation with the hairy-footed stranger. Afterwards, Thorin had patted Bilbo on the back and invited him to dinner.

Dinner was fine food and wine, Thorin's nephews joining him at the feast. Their conversation was lively, and for once Bilbo really had someone to talk to. When you were a thief you had all the gold you could get, but friendship wasn't as easy to steal.

When Bilbo had tried leaving a few days letter after having sold all his merchandise, Thorin had begged for him to stay. Bilbo hadn't known how to refuse, and he had liked the place.

Bilbo didn't know when the relationship became romantic, but the shift from friendship to love seemed so natural. Thorin's body fit into Bilbo like a puzzle piece whenever they kissed. Bilbo let out moans of pleasure whenever he and Thorin were alone, something he had thought he'd never be able to feel. Thorin was all of Bilbo's dreams made real, and he couldn't have been happier even if he'd had all the jewels of Erebor with him. Technically, he did.

One day Thorin had asked Bilbo to marry him. Bilbo couldn't recall how long it had been since he'd been together with Thorin at that point, the days all mixing into one another.

"You know it's only right," the dwarven king had said. "You could rule with me. It would be perfect for both of us."

_Yes,_ Bilbo had thought, fighting back tears. _It would._

The chance before him was everything Bilbo had ever wanted: Someone who loved him, friendship with other dwarves he'd never had before, and all the jewels and gold that he could possibly want. He wouldn't have to constantly escape from one place to the other any longer, instead staying in Erebor.

But he declined, knowing that it wasn't for him. Bilbo knew that though Thorin knew him well, he didn't know who he really was. Bilbo was a burglar he could never stay in one place. Part of it he blamed on his Took blood and part of it on himself.

Thorin's lips were like honey, his hands rough but his caress soft. Bilbo wanted to say yes, but he knew that Thorin would never get to see the true Bilbo, and he didn't deserve a relationship based on lies. He truly did love and care for Thorin, and he knew he had to do the right thing for him.

Bilbo had decided on going back to the Shire and swindling a few things before doing business with humans. He took the Arkenstone from Thorin's throne, then snuck past the guards with his grace and agility. He was perhaps the greatest thief that Thorin Oakenshield, or all of Middle-Earth itself, would ever have the terrible luck to encounter.

With the beautiful Arkenstone and Thorin's heart in his old and reliable brown cloth messenger bag, the hobbit took off, a shadow in the light under the full moon. Tears fell down his face, but he told himself that surely he had done the right thing. A thief could never be worthy of the title of a king.

Maybe one day he would finally believe those words that he repeatedly told himself.

* * *

Author's Note: Like I said, I'm taking prompt suggestions. Just message me one you want me to do or put it in a review and I'd be happy to do it. So, did you guys like this one? It was inspired by redcat18 on Tumblr.


	3. Chapter 3

**Prompt: **The entire prompt that I was suggested to do was a happy ending. So here we go, a happy fic where (spoiler warning for the book) no dwarves die at the end of The Battle of Five Armies. Hooray for Thilbo fluff! (I'm planning on making an alternate drabble where it's Bilbofur.)

* * *

Thorin paced across his room, the words never leaving his mouth. What could he say to Bilbo to make him stay? They'd loved each other before, but it seemed that it wouldn't last. Their love was a fire that burned bright during the journey to reclaim Erebor, but once everything was said and done it was gone, the flame finally burnt out no matter how much fuel Thorin tried to add to it. He didn't want it to end.

He took a deep breath, the Arkenstone flashing in his mind. Bilbo had forgiven him for it, but he hadn't forgiven himself. He'd nearly lost his relationship with Bilbo over the damn thing, or at least ended the relationship before it would've properly ended.

He took out his pipe and took a good smoke, trying to clear his mind. He just had to get the words right and then he could get Bilbo to come and stay with him in Erebor. It should've been simple, but still no words came to him.

Thorin knew he didn't have forever, so he left his room and walked down the nearly empty halls of Erebor, his footsteps echoing across the halls. It felt empty and filled with loneliness.

When Thorin found Bilbo, he was sitting and reading a book he'd found in the old library, a pipe to his lip. A small trail of grey smoke came from it. He sat near a pile of gold, but he cared nothing for it. If only everyone could have been that way, then maybe the stupid war never would have happened.

Bilbo had always tried to make sure Thorin was safe, even when he himself was put in danger of losing his life. That mattered little to him, who only wanted to make sure that Thorin was safe and sound. He'd even done it and nearly gotten permanently banished from Erebor.

_He really does care about me,_ Thorin thought. If he still knew how to cry, he would, but his tear ducts had dried many years ago. They had been like a river, once prosperous because of rain, but when a drought came it became nothing more than a hole filled with dirt on the ground.

"Bilbo," Thorin said.

The Halfling looked up to him. "Thorin," he said with a smile. He stood up, placing his book by his feet. "I've been hoping to speak with you."

Thorin felt his face turn red, and by the smile the hobbit gave him, he too had noticed. "Bilbo," he said, releasing a sigh he hadn't known he'd been holding. Could he really do this?

_Yes,_ he told himself. _Yes I can._

"Bilbo, I really do love you and would love if you stayed in Erebor. I am sorry for how I treated you, but the gold sickness has left me. . . I only think of you now, and how badly I want to make up to you for what happened. You didn't deserve what I put you through. Please, Bilbo, please stay."

Bilbo smiled, then came up and hugged the dwarf like they'd done before after he'd saved Thorin's life.

"Of course I will," he said. "Why did you think I was going to leave you?"

"I thought that you'd hate me," Thorin said. "After everything that I caused. Yes, you forgave me, but perhaps you harbored a hatred of me in your heart. . . I'd understand perfectly if you were to leave."

"But I'm not," the hobbit said. "I do love you also, Thorin. I realize that just because I caused you trouble before doesn't mean that you truly hate me. I know you make quick, rash decisions and regret them later. Even when you claimed I was banished, I still hoped in my heart that things would turn out okay, and they did."

Thorin felt tears burn his eyes. The sky was releasing rain once more and the river was no longer an empty hole.

"Thorin?" Bilbo asked, completely concerned. "Oh, Thorin, why are you sad?"

He wrapped his arms around the small Halfling, a smile forming on his face. "I'm not sad," he said. "I'm the happiest that I've ever been in my life, but something tells me that things will only get better."

The tears stung Thorin's eyes, but he didn't care, just kissed Bilbo. He pulled a small ring out of his pocket, a blue sapphire in it, and placed it on Bilbo's hand.

"Are you really saying that you, you?" Bilbo asked, looking to be both shocked and happy.

Thorin nodded.

Bilbo turned as red as his coat, then pulled a ring of his own out of his pocket. It had a red ruby on it and was made of pure gold. "I found this earlier and liked how the color matched with my jacket, but I think you'll need it more than me."

"I do need it," he said, then scooped Bilbo up and covered his face in kisses.

Happy tears fell down his face, and he hoped that they'd never stop.

* * *

**Author's Note:** If you want me to do a prompt, just put it in your review or message me and I'll be happy to do it.


	4. Chapter 4

**Prompt (from Livejournal):** Bilbo starts to realize that his possessions are slowly going missing. It starts with small things- doilies and parchment paper, pillows in spare rooms he never enters. Then his grandmother's chest. His mother's plates. The rugs he bought on sale when he became of age. He assumes it's all a big prank, because the Tooks and Brandybucks are absolute horrid when it comes to pranks, but he'll get them back in due time.

Then his favorite armchair goes missing, the one his father loved, and he cannot let it stand. That's when Bilbo finds out that the dwarves have slyly been taking Bilbo's things and moving them to Erebor by command of Thorin. After all, Erebor is all glittering gold and hard textiles- nothing like the softness and homeyness of Bilbo's things in Bag End. Thorin just wants to make everything feel more like home, and what can feel more like home then, well, home?

Bilbo thinks Thorin is an absolute idiot, but his father's armchair does look quite nice next to the hearth in Thorin's bedchambers.

* * *

Bilbo was busily cleaning out his house, making sure everything was neat and that Lobelia Sackville-Baggins hadn't tried to take anything, the old hag. It had been two months since he had finally bought back his belongings, or as much as he could. Only a few days before he'd sent a letter off to Erebor asking how everyone was. He missed his friends, but he had left Erebor out of shame of seeing Thorin. He'd barely survived, and every time he saw him a fear grew that he would die. As much as he cared about Thorin, it pained Bilbo to be around him.

Bilbo was busy grabbing a spoon for second breakfast when he noticed that a few were missing.

"Lobelia," he whispered angrily. "What has the old hag done with my damned spoons this time?" He grabbed one, then sat down and began to eat.

Once he finished and had washed up his dishes, he walked into his living room and sat back and tried to relax. Just thinking about his things being taken physically exhausted him. He closed his eyes for a few seconds and held his hand up to his forehead. Oh what a day that he guessed it would be!

And when he opened his eyes he saw that his pen and stack of books that had been there only a few moments before was gone.

"Oh no," he muttered. "Whichever of you little Tooks are in here stealing my things, give them back now and show yourselves or I'll give you all a good shaking. This is not funny!"

No one appeared.

"Brandybucks," he said. "Get out of here! If both of you monsters are in here then run out while you still can." He sighed, then went back in the kitchen to start a cup of tea. He could tell he needed it.

"Maybe you're imagining it," he said. "Stacks of books and a pen don't just vanish into thin air in seconds flat. You really need to just get some rest."

And once he finished his tea, that was just what he did. When he woke up, he reassured himself that he'd just been under stress after having to adjust to his life back in the Shire. He smiled, then sat up and smoothed out his hair, both on his head and feet, and clothing.

However, once he got into his living room he noticed that a few pillows were missing. He rubbed his eyes, and once he finished doing that and seeing no change, began to blink his eyes. This was impossible!

He walked into his next room and decided to see if perhaps some things had been dropped there while he was cleaning that he'd forgotten about. Surely he would hear the giggling of small hobbits playing a prank on him.

His doilies were missing. He pouted, wondering if he'd accidentally left them in pockets of his dirty trousers. That was a reasonable answer, one any good and respectable Baggins would think. Yes, that had to be the answer. What would the little hobbits want to steal doilies for?

Bilbo decided that the things must be misplaced, nothing more. Even if the children of the Tooks were stealing things, they wouldn't just steal doilies. He'd heard them say that doilies were stupid, so they'd just leave them there and go for something else.

Bilbo felt like another cup of tea, and went to start another kettle of it. He began to whistle, telling himself that this was all crazy and soon he'd know the answer to why everything was happening. At least he knew that Lobelia Sackville-Baggins wasn't doing it-she had enough doilies for herself.

Bilbo's tea finished, and he poured it into a cup and began to sit down when he noticed something.

_My plates,_ he thought. _They're gone!_

Instead of his usual amount, fifty (hobbits do need quite a few plates for their many meals), there were only ten! This was impossible.

But how could they just suddenly take off with fifty of his plates and he not even hear a sound? He looked around and saw that most of his cups were missing as well, along with his collection of china bowls.

He angrily stamped his foot. "Who thought this joke was anything close to funny?" He clenched his fists, then grabbed his coat from the rack near his front door and left to go speak with the Tooks and Brandybucks to stop this tomfoolery.

Unknown to him, as he left, a few dwarves snuck into his house, ready to grab more things.

When he got to the closest Took house, he knocked on the door. He did it three times, and when he didn't hear even a reply of "Coming!" he continued with his insistent knocking.

"Why isn't anyone home?!" he yelled, then left. He was too exhausted from coming all the way here to go to see any of the Brandybucks. He went back home to at least see if he could find the thief, or thieves, in action. They were really going to get a good shaking for this.

But once Bilbo got home he was shocked to see that a few of his chests and most of his furniture was gone. He could have only been gone for a half an hour! He grinded his teeth together, then began marching through his house in hopes of finding the thieves.

Everywhere he looked he found nothing. If thieves had been there before, they had made their escape. Bilbo began to arrange everything that he had left and kept a close eye on it, as if the thief would come out in plain sight.

Eventually he grew tired of it and fell into his father's old, well-worn armchair. He grabbed a book, one of the few he had left, and decided he might as well read it. Tomorrow he would deal with the trouble. He took out his pipe and began to smoke it, though he didn't focus much on it. Why did this have to happen to him? Was it really that funny to prank him?

When he finished the book, staying up late reading it in hopes of hearing the thief, he finally went to bed. He hadn't heard anything other than his own breathing and the rhythmic sound of him flipping pages.

When he woke up he saw that even his grandfather's old armchair was gone. He could no longer deny what was happening, and he was seething with anger. He imagined steam coming out of his ears.

Where his rug should've been was bare floor, where his plates should have been an empty cabinet, and his bookshelves were completely bare. He stormed through his house, looking over whatever he had left. All that was left was a small amount of furniture and a few pairs of clothing. They even took his clothes, the dirty little bastards!

And his father's armchair of all things. It was one of the only things he had left of the poor man who had died years before. Everyone had known how his father's death had affected him, and yet they still felt the nerve to take it from him. He was going to shake whoever took them half to death, to where they'd be wishing they had never met their cousin Bilbo.

He looked outside in hopes of seeing something, anything, and he did. He smiled, then quickly ran outside.

"H-Hello," said Kili weakly. "Master Baggins, it's a fine day, isn't it?" He gave a smile that was beginning to break.

"What are you holding?" Bilbo asked, looking to see in Kili's hands a stack of books. "You never seemed like the literary type to me."

Kili quickly turned away from him and began sprinting. Bilbo tried to keep up with him, but he was exhausted. The damned bastard was stealing his things!

He went inside and quickly made a pack of food and other supplies, then set off to Erebor. The dwarves would be surprised to see him visiting so shortly after Erebor's reclamation, but even more surprised that Kili had taken his things. Fili was likely involved with it as well, the two little rats thinking they were just playing a harmless prank on Bilbo. Ha, harmless was the last thing it'd be!

The journey to Erebor was rather short, only a good three weeks at most. More dwarven patrols had been, so roads were far safer than they'd been before. Even the elves he saw while in Mirkwood didn't imprison him, and he had no use for his ring at the time.

Once in Dale, Bilbo was truly seething. The rebuilding was going fine, which pleased Bilbo, and to calm himself a little he went to go have a good chat with Bard. They discussed everything from the rebuilding of Dale and Erebor to simpler things such as good books. Bilbo was glad to get to know Bard better.

"The people love me now," Bard said. "I never would've saw it coming, and it's all thanks to you. Thanks for discovering the dragon's weak spot for me."

Bilbo laughed. "I'm glad it was worth it for you."

Once he left, however, he was angry once more. It was only a short walk to Erebor, and he quickly got in. It seemed even the guarding dwarves knew exactly who he was.

He got there late at night, however, and he was quite exhausted. Originally Bard had offered him a bed, but he'd refused it, his anger returning to the thought of his items being stolen. He walked into Erebor, torches lighting up the city under the mountain. It truly was beautiful, and Bilbo took a few moments to just stare at it in awe. Once that finished, however, he began to look for Thorin to tell him of his nephew's wrongdoings.

He didn't know how tired he was until he ended up in Erebor's royal halls and passed out just in front of Thorin's room, his large stone door the last thing that he saw.

When he woke up, a blanket was over him and a fire was on. He blinked, looking around. Everything that had been missing was neatly set up around him, but he knew he wasn't in Bag End.

"How?" he questioned, looking around. Only then did he remember he was in Erebor.

"You're awake!" Thorin's delighted voice said. Bilbo had been too amazed at finding his things to notice that Thorin was sitting in a corner reading one of Bilbo's books. This had to have been a dream-Thorin _did not_ read!

"What is going on here?" he asked, sitting up. He rubbed his eyes. Only then did he notice that Thorin was sitting in his father's dark red armchair, his face lit up by the fireplace.

"Bilbo," he said with a smile. "I'm so glad that you came to Erebor. It's been a couple months."

Bilbo scowled. "What's all my stuff doing here?"

Thorin turned red from the tip of his ears to the bottom of his neck. Yes, things were definitely getting strange. He scratched the back of his head, messing up his black-grey hair. "Well, I knew that you'd miss the Shire if you ever came to Erebor, so I tried to improvise."

It took a moment for Bilbo to realize just what he'd said, and was shocked. Why had he even thought of this?

"What did you do this for?" he roared. "You can't just send in your nephews-"

"A few more dwarves than just Fili and Kili were involved," Thorin said.

"You can't just send in your dwarves and steal my things! I probably scared my poor family members and you made me despise Lobelia Sackville-Baggins for something she didn't do!"

"Well," Thorin said. "We probably should've realized that would happen, now that I look back at it in retrospect." He sighed. "I understand your anger, Halfling."

"You better," Bilbo said. He threw his covers off, realizing these were his ones from his home. They were as neatly folded as his ones at home.

Thorin had made sure things were exactly as Bilbo liked.

"So why did you do this?" Bilbo questioned. "You must have an explanation for uprooting me from the Shire again."

"Gandalf was the one who did it the first time!" Thorin said in his defense.

"So why did you tear me from the Shire?"

Thorin looked away from him, up at one of the paintings neatly hung on the wall. "We missed you, Halfling. I-I," he took a deep breath, then exhaled after a moment, though it felt like hours. "I missed you, Bilbo. I missed you so much."

Bilbo got up and walked up to him, draping his arms around his friend's, or now his more than friend's, arms. Then, he leaned in and kissed him, his beard tickling Bilbo's chin. Thorin seemed surprised, then quickly joined in. Their embrace was full of everything, all the pain and longing, heartbreak and happiness, that they'd shared. It was released without regret, and it mingled between them. Thorin ran his fingers through Bilbo's curls, and Bilbo felt Thorin's back. It was the happiest that Bilbo had been in a long time.

Once they released, Bilbo stared up into Thorin's eyes. "You did all this to make me stay in Erebor, didn't you?"

Thorin nodded.

"You're never one for just asking," Bilbo commented. "You couldn't have just asked me to stay, could you?"

Thorin gave a sad smile. "Well, I was scared that you'd say no."

Bilbo kissed him again. "Of course I wouldn't say no."

When they finished, the kiss longer and even more passionate than the last one, Bilbo slapped Thorin on the face, harder than he ever had.

Thorin rubbed his red cheek. "Halfling, Iluvatar, what that was that for?"

Bilbo smirked. "Well you did make me quite angry. I do think you at least deserve a small punishment for that." He leaned in and kissed Thorin once more. "But's that all the punishment that you'll get. I forgive you."

"I'm glad," Thorin said.

And though Bilbo had never imagined kissing someone on his father's armchair, it seemed to serve a good purpose for it.

Bilbo hoped it would happen again sooner rather than later. He loved being close to Thorin, feeling warm next to him. There was nothing that compared to this. He could get quite used to it, and he was sure he'd learn to love Erebor as well. Besides, it did have a small slice of home for him in the mountain to return to whenever he felt homesick.

* * *

**Author's Note: **I was going to work on an angst prompt suggested to me by Anime and Manga 4ever XD and the happy ending Bilbofur, but I saw this prompt and couldn't resist. Please tell me what you think and any prompts you might be interested in me doing. I'll get to work on the other two and post them soon.


	5. Chapter 5

**When Bilbo saved Thorin's life, he unknowingly got himself engaged with Thorin by dwarven custom.**

* * *

Bilbo hadn't known what had possessed him to do it, but he knew that in the end it would be worth it, even if lost his own life. His heart had pounded against his chest when he'd saved Thorin's life, and it hadn't stopped until he'd seen him safe. When they'd embraced, he knew that everything had been worth it. Finally, the problems between them had been fixed, in what Thorin had remarked as "pure selflessness", to which Bilbo had replied that he'd just done the right thing.

Now that they were all at Beorn's house, things were going fine. Finally, Bilbo had enough food to eat and a decent place to sleep at night instead of on the ground covered with dirt and stones.

It was just after dinner when Thorin came up to Bilbo and asked him what his plans were for the night. Bilbo had smiled and said he was going to check out the land around Beorn's place and take a good walk. Thorin had asked if he could go with him, and Bilbo had smiled and said yes. Why did he think that he couldn't join?

Everything about the place was big-from the house, to the animals and plant life surrounding the land, and even Beorn himself. Even when he wasn't a bear he stood tall over everyone else, and he had even more hair than the dwarves!

Bilbo smoked his pipe as he walked, and Thorin took out his own. "Bilbo," he said, "when did you realize your feelings for me?"

Bilbo became confused. "What do you mean?"

"I mean," Thorin said, "when did you feel that way that caused you to save me?"

"It was when you were singing," said Bilbo. "I wanted to cry when you sang that, and the next day when I woke up I remembered the words. You needed Erebor back, and I was going to help you get it back in whatever way that I could."

Thorin smiled. "I-I, thank you." And then he reached in, cupped his hands under Bilbo's chin, then kissed him. Bilbo's face turned red, and as soon as he let go of him, he ran off.

* * *

Thorin cursed himself for going in on Bilbo too soon after their relationship had begun. He should've let things go at their natural pace, but Bilbo had seemed so confident with their relationship when they'd been speaking. But then again, Bilbo certainly hadn't seen that coming. Thorin sighed, feeling a headache begin to form. He would definitely need to work that out if he wanted his relationship with Bilbo to go on smoothly. After what he did for him, he knew that he couldn't just go against his wishes.

Perhaps he should wait before he discussed Bilbo having to stay in Erebor and be king alongside him. That would surely be a shock to him, as he likely expected just a relationship. Still, all couples had their issues.

* * *

Bofur pulled Bilbo aside once he came back to speak with him in private. Quickly, Bilbo composed himself to look as though what had just happened hadn't happened.

"Bilbo, laddie," he said. "What's wrong?"

"Nothing!" Bilbo said, a little too quickly.

Bofur raised an eyebrow. "Thorin hasn't been rejecting you, has he?"

"Rejecting me?"

"Bilbo," Bofur said, a sigh escaping his lips. He put his hands to his forehead as though it ached. "I should've realized that this would happen, but the company and I were just so excited that you'd managed to tear Thorin out of his shell. . ."

"His shell?"

"Bilbo, do you know you did when you saved Thorin's life?"

"I saved Thorin's life?"

"Bilbo, when you save a dwarf's life you are saying that if you survive you wish to marry them so long as you or they have no one else and they are not your kin!"

Bilbo froze. "You-you mean that Thorin thinks that I want to marry him?"

Bofur nodded, then looked down at his feet. "There's no way to deny it. I know you did it out of genuine kindness, but us dwarves have different ways."

"Can't I just tell him that it was a mistake?" Bilbo couldn't deny that Thorin was handsome, and being with him probably wouldn't be too bad, but this was too sudden.

"Bilbo," Bofur said, "if you did that it would be seen as the highest offense, and Thorin could even banish you. The others in the company will be devastated."

Bilbo's stomach did a flip flop in his chest. He released a heavy sigh. "Don't worry about it, Bofur," he said. "This is my problem, and I shall deal with it myself."

* * *

Thorin smiled when Bilbo came into his room that night. Hopefully he'd gotten over what happened and they could start to work things out.

"Thorin," he said, "I need to speak with you."

The tone of his voice caused Thorin's heart to sink. "What is it?" Oh no, did he have someone else back at the Shire and couldn't be with Thorin? And to think, only a few hours earlier he'd been forcing himself to restrain his glee.

"Your nephews," he said.

Thorin was confused.

"They're making the most noise I've ever heard!" He began to take off his clothes. "Mind letting me share the room with you?"

"Feel free to it!" Thorin said, who began taking off his own coat. "Is there anything specifically that you would like to do? After what you did I owe you the pleasure of pleasuring you-"

Bilbo's face turned as red as his coat. "I just want to sleep."

"Oh," Thorin said. "I understand, let's not go too fast."

* * *

They slept close to each other, their bodies intermingling. Bilbo couldn't deny that it was nice. If anything, it was the happiest that he'd felt in a long time. They'd actually kissed for a while, Thorin's lips warm and soft, something he hadn't noticed earlier.

Yes, he could certainly find a way to deal with the fact that he had unknowingly gotten himself engaged to Thorin. That couldn't be too hard, could it?

* * *

**Author's Note:** This was just a random idea floating around in my brain.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's Note: ***Spoilers***** As requested, Bilbo dies instead of Thorin in BoFA.

Thorin stared down at his hands, wondering how to greet the boy. It would be only a short time before he arrived. He had a lot of explaining ahead of him, and even then he still had to win the boy's trust, and only Mahal knew how that would turn out.

It's a shame that the boy's parents had to die so shortly after his cousin did. Thorin thought. It seems death surrounds the poor lad.

Kili walked into his study to see him. "Uncle," he said, "you are nervous."

Thorin just grunted in reply. It was hard enough dealing with this to have to deal with his nephew.

Usually, his grunt made his nephew run off to do something else, but his feet stayed firmly where they rested. "Uncle, you couldn't have prevented the war."

Thorin clenched his fists. "Leave. I need time to think over what happened."

"You've been mourning a year and everyone knows! You couldn't prevent Bilbo's death, and we're all waiting for the day you wake up and realize that."

Thorin hit the desk he sat at with his fist, almost breaking it. "If I hadn't been so filled with greed then things could've gone differently."

"Even if you weren't sick because of the gold you still wouldn't have been able to prevent the inevitable war over who got Erebor."

"Yes, but the war wouldn't have been nearly as bad." He stared down at his desk, letting the salty tears burn his eyes before falling. "If it weren't for what I did, he may still be here."

"I guess I can't convince you otherwise." Kili sighed. "Goodbye, uncle, I am going to go continue preparations on Frodo's quarters."

Thorin thought back to when he banished Bilbo, the hobbit who only hours before he had kissed and declared the one he would give his heart to, or at least whatever was left of it.

The loneliness hit him, a pain that ran through his entire body. Bilbo was in the afterlife early because of him.

Thorin had offered to adopt Frodo as a way of making amends with Bilbo's spirit, but there was never a guarantee that Bilbo would ever forgive him. That was perhaps what hurt the most, knowing that all he could do was try to make it up to him. But he also understood why Bilbo might possibly never forgive him.

Dwalin opened his door, stating that the boy had arrived. Thorin was exhausted, but he told Dwalin to let the boy into his study.

Thorin hadn't really known what to expect of the tiny halfling. His hair was the color of chocolate, his eyes blue, his skin the color of flour, and he was short and slightly chubby. He was almost an exact copy of how Bilbo had looked when he first met him. He smiled up at Thorin, smiling as if there was nothing to be sad about in the world. "Hi, I'm Frodo!" he said.

"Hello," Thorin said, reaching out his hand to the small boy. When Frodo took it, he could see his hands were barely larger than Thorin's fingers. "My name is Thorin Oakenshield, and I knew your cousin."

"You knew Uncle Bilbo?" His voice was high-pitched, and it sounded like what his own nephews' voices once had.

Thorin didn't question why he called Bilbo uncle rather than cousin, just nodded. "And what a remarkable man he was."

Frodo smiled. "Where am I, anyway? Everyone kept telling me I needed to come somewhere but they never told me where it was."

"Erebor," Thorin said.

The boy's eyes widened. "What's it like here?"

"It's a lively place," he said. "I'm its king."

"You're a king?" The awe in his voice filled Thorin with joy.

He nodded. "That I am, Frodo."

"How did you know Uncle Bilbo?"

"He helped me save Erebor from a dragon."

"A dragon?" Frodo jumped from one hairy foot to the other. "Uncle Bilbo faced off against a dragon?"

"Yes, he really did."

"He's amazing!"

"He is," Thorin replied. He wrapped his arm around Frodo's shoulders. "Would you like to get a bite to eat?"

"I'm starving!"'Frodo said. "What kind of food do you have in Erebor?"

"The finest foods imaginable," said Thorin. "We've got the juiciest meats, the most well cooked breads, the finest wine, though you're a little young for that, and desserts that will make you fall over in delight. You'll love it!"

Frodo grabbed Thorin's hand and began to pull it. "Then what are we waiting for? Let's go eat!"

Thorin chuckled, knowing he couldn't deny the boy his food. "I'll make sure our top chef Bombur brings you the best Erebor has to offer."

Frodo ate dish after dish, the sides of his mouth and the front of his shirt collecting whatever fell from or didn't reach his mouth. Thorin knew hobbits ate a lot-Bilbo had mentioned that they ate on average seven meals a day-but Frodo ate as though he hadn't eaten in months; Thorin had even made sure those who were supposed to bring him to Erebor gave him as much food as he asked for.

"Do you like it?" asked Thorin, already knowing the answer.

"Yes!" Frodo replied, then took another bite out his blackberry cobbler. "This is almost as good as Uncle Bilbo's cupcakes."

Thorin made sure to hide the sadness he felt at those words. Never again would Frodo get to taste those, and it was all because of Thorin.

Eventually, Frodo fell asleep, his eyes suddenly closing and his head hitting the table, just barely missing the plate of food in front of him. Thorin gently picked him up and carried him to his chambers, then placed him down on the bed and kissed the top of his head. "Sleep well," he said.

Just as he was about to leave, he heard Frodo faintly whisper to him goodbye. "I love you, Uncle Thorin."

Outside in the hallway, Fili and Kili smiled at him, and he forced a smile for it. They fell for his lie and became happier.

Once inside his own chambers, Thorin laid on his bed and cried. Despite small differences, Bilbo and Frodo were quite alike. He cried himself to sleep, and all throughout the night he dreamed of Bilbo and himself. They kissed and made love and were happy, but he always woke up from them and he'd remember that Bilbo was gone. He'd fall asleep again and it would all repeat.

After the sixth time that it happened, he didn't try to go to sleep. That was when he noticed a faint snoring sound in his room. Looking around, he noticed a small figure at the foot of his bed.

He must have had a nightmare like I did, Thorin thought.

Gently, he reached out and covered the boy in a blanket. He didn't notice, just continued to sleep. His snoring helped Thorin fall asleep as well, though he couldn't remember what he dreamed of.


End file.
